This happened. Bring on the Bruins.

Sitcom

This is the first scene from a sitcom I had to write for class once. I always thought it was pretty damn funny because it was all based on stuff that actually occurred in my life. And since I think I’m the funniest person I know, I get a big kick out of it.

¬†SOMETHING - “PILOT” - 11/15/2011 - 1

1. INT. 2011 RETAIL STORE - EVENING

We see PAUL putting something away on a shelf when CUSTOMER 1 approaches him with a question about a service the store offers.

PAUL

Hello can I help you?

CUSTOMER 1

Yeah, I was wondering if you guys charged anything to install batteries in cars?

PAUL

Yes. It is $9.99 to install a battery Sir.

CUSTOMER 1

Wait… You mean to tell me you charge ten dollars to install a battery?

PAUL

That’s correct Sir.

CUSTOMER 1

So let’s say a women, who knows nothing about cars needs a battery installed in her car. You would still charge her ten dollars to put this battery in?

PAUL

Well, I’m not charging her ten dollars sir. The store is. I don’t see any of that money.

CUSTOMER 1

Oh, some class act company you are!

PAUL

Are you sure it isn’t you who is the women Sir?

Customer looks stunned and we are introduced to the CAMDEN character. Camden approaches and pulls Paul away from the customer to talk to him about upcoming trip to Boston.

CAMDEN

Paul! How are ya man?

PAUL

I’m doin’ alright.

Deep

I recently came across some complete shit I wrote as I was dealing with a breakup several years ago. This was me trying my hand at songwriting/poetry. Glad this never panned out.

"Spend your nights at the dance

All the lights and sights put you in a trance

Yet you never could give it another chance”

There’s more where this came from, but it’s too embarrassing to publish.¬†

This is a very good record. It should be listened to. 

I took this picture, with a camera. Riveting.

Hmm

I don’t understand this Tumblr nonsense.